Lisa Ray

The Yellow Diaries

Gently Carbonating

Gently Carbonating is fun in Orange

I was diagnosed with Multiple Myeloma on June 23rd. Started my first cycle of treatment July 2nd. Not long ago.

For me, it was a relief to hear what was wrong. The plasma cells in my bone marrow were rampaging, multiplying, squeezing out the red blood cells and it was time to begin doing something about it. I was also tired of being tired all the time. And you just know when something is not kosher with your body. So when I sat there with Bobcat- my life partner and reservoir of Yellow- and got the news I didn’t react and I didn’t cry. I’m an actress, believe me, I can be dramatic. Not just then though.

First the facts.

Myeloma is incurable.

It’s a relatively rare cancer of the bone marrow that affects about 6000 Canadians. Every year, approximately  2100 more cases are diagnosed.

I’m a junior Member in many ways, having been diagnosed at 37, while the average age is 65. Makes the disease not quite as ‘Sexy’ as other Cancers. But we can change that.

In the industry I’m in, you could say, its motive alone that gives character to your acting.

So today with Velcade and, Revlimid and other promising new treatments in the pipeline our survival rates are improving. But only with an ever expanding toolbox of treatments and awareness can this Cancer be beat. So I’m going to do everything I can to wrench the spotlight onto Myeloma and Cancer Awareness.

I believe it can be cured.

That’s the Dirty Realist in me.

So back to the ‘Yellow’ Diaries. And more on ‘Yellow’ and charging your yellow later…

On Steroids: you are HUNGRY ALL THE TIME.

When Dr. Ahmed Galal, my Warrior-Hematologist at Princess Margaret Hospital gave me my first cycle of meds, he capped his recommendation off with a charming gesture that meant: Beware of sweets.

Well. Sweet things aren’t the only temptation.

Every cycle of treatment, I’m on Dexamethasone for four days on, then four days off.

Who knew it would turn me into a free range chicken, pecking the landscape freely. I find it distracting to walk down my patch of Queen St without stopping for a nibble at the Pie Shack, scoping some sushi or sampling up kimchi and eggs.

I’m currently obsessed with the pepperettes at Meat on the Beach. I had a Gollum-worthy breakdown at the counter recently when I found out they haven’t restocked. So I’ve always been fond of food, fought my battles with food (having been a model) and finally at 37 discovered balance. Until the ‘roids hit that is. Then I see a plate of ‘Reliable Halibut and Fries’ and my stomach goes: THAT IS MINE.

I know I should be doing other things. Like, uh…healing. But so far I’ve kept up a punishingly normal schedule even during treatments. I take meetings, write, sign contracts, read scripts, buy and barter furniture, teach yoga, buy a house, begin to renovate said house. It’s the covert type ‘A’ in me. My years of drama school and manufacturing an alternative reality for a role have also come in handy. I know I’m not trusting the situation. I’m treating my battle like its inconvenient, managing the stage like a tyrannical Bollywood choreographer, but worst of all, I’m not looking it in the eye. I’m letting the situation tyranise my heart. I need to ask for help and support.

They say, name it, then you can recognise it. Then deal with it.

Yup. In time.

Back to Life on Roids. The wetsuit.

It’s an entirely unique experience. When I’m on steroids, I can feel my skin stretch and expand and move in ways and sensations I haven’t felt before. It can be fascinating (for some like myself) to meditate on the pathways of your organism. I bloat up to three times my normal ’size’. It’s like putting on a wetsuit. Except its kinda permanent. Until you stop taking the roids. Then I deflate again.

Now all this time, I understand that the meds are doing their work. Swimmingly. I can feel it. Bobcat named it. We call it ‘Gently Carbonating’. It means the plasma in my bone marrow is getting beaten back. And its all good. Sometimes it feels like I’m wearing vibrating mitts. Or those thick Nova Scotia artisanal socks. Full of fleas.

I’m getting better. My prognosis, given my ‘Junior’ status and stage of disease, is very good. I’m aiming for Full Remission- and with Dr Galal and Velcade as my co-conspirators- this mission is in the bag. That’s my claim and I’m plowing it into the mountaintop. Though I’m not sure why I keep mixing up ‘Remission’ with ‘Transmission’ and ‘Transgression’- maybe that will get clearer down the line.

On August 4th, TIFF announced its lineup for its Galas and Special Presentations for the Canadian Section this year. I have history and a successful and seriously affectionate association with the Toronto International Film Festival festival. My first Canadian film, Bollywood/Hollywood had a Gala opening at Elgin Theatre. Then ‘Water’ the source of so many positive beginnings in my life, opened the Festival and went on to acclaim and an Academy Award Nomination. Four films opened at the fest since then over the last few years and now this year, fittingly, Dilip Mehta’s ‘Cooking with Stella’ gets a Gala Red Carpet Premiere. ‘Defendor’ by Peter Stebbings also gets a slot. I went for the press conference but had to bounce down to PMH for my chemo treatment. And blending that energy felt just fine. Though at the time I didn’t tell anyone, I felt more invested in my day. Less juxtaposed. So the two worlds can blend: its okay to cross over from ballroom to chemo daycare. There was one difference: the press conference was more stressed. And no juice boxes. Bummer.

So I have two films in this year. Celebration.

Do I go?

Do I deal with the current red carpet obsession with pursuing the ‘of the moment’ perfection? I have after all, set myself up in this world.

I’ve also been groomed in subversion. By the film makers I’ve worked with and the stories they chose to tell.

I don’t want to hide. I want to celebrate. In my wetsuit. This is going to make the week and evening very interesting.

I’m going to listen to my marrow. Again.

NADA brought a spark to my appearance at when they dressed me at the recent MMM festival in Toronto when I appeared there right after getting diagnosed with Myeloma in July. Feels right.

Down to the name. NADA. Nothing. Let it go. Drop it.

Previous post
Leave one

8,094 Responses

  1. Compared to other heaters they are very economical, dependable and efficient.
    In the cross over or perhaps soften step, the main width within the
    attach heightens even though the peak on the flight journey will reduce.

    So the actual sturdy route filters gradually and also the fruit juice funnel

  2. whoah this blog is magnificent i love reading your articles. Keep up the great work! You know, many people are hunting around for this info, you could help them greatly.

  3. kamagra oral jelly – kamagra gel, kamagra gel.

  4. First of all I want to say terrific blog! I had a quick question which I’d
    like to ask if you do not mind. I was curious to know how you center yourself and clear your thoughts prior to writing.

    I’ve had a tough time clearing my thoughts in getting my ideas out.
    I do take pleasure in writing however it just seems like the first 10 to 15 minutes are lost
    simply just trying to figure out how to begin. Any recommendations
    or hints? Kudos!

  5. Вот-вот наступит Новый год – самый долгожданный для многих праздник. Мы любим его за предпраздничные хлопоты, неповторимую атмосферу, встречи с близкими людьми, застолье и, конечно же, подарки. Мы, в свою очередь, подготовили подборку приложений, которые помогут вам во всей этой новогодней суете.
    К празднику, в приложении появилось много красивых новогодних обоев, иконок и знакомых с детства рингтонов. Так что поспешите поставить Jingle Bells на звонок и обновить рабочий стол вашего смартфона к Новому году.
    Лучшие Android-приложения к Новому году Лучшие Android-приложения к Новому году Лучшие Android-приложения к Новому году
    Вот такой получился у нас набор приложений к Новому году. А какие программы пригодятся к празднику по вашему мнению?
    Все Android-приложения

  6. Поисковое продвижение сайта, интернет магазина. Разместил и забыл.
    [url=]seo продвижение сайта самостоятельно[/url]
    [url=]продвижение сайтов в самаре[/url]
    [url=]как продвигать сайт бесплатно[/url]


    Продвижение Сайта На Форумах


  7. Firm Bitcoin World wants to / offer nice opportunity earn! [url=]litecoin exchange[/url]. We offer lease servers in Sweden. With our company can earn bitcoin. [url=]dollar euro currency[/url]. By using powerful equipments you will to obtain consistently high income!

    Our company is good conditions for rental servers, the lower price servers and lucrative affiliate system. [url=]bitcoin money[/url]. With us, you will receive an electronic “gold” without any special investments, enough to hire the server is required for you speed! [url=]faucet[/url]. Get bitcoin with us, renting our power!

  8. Company Bitcoin World offers great opportunity earnings! [url=]ethereum price history[/url]. rental Earnings on the servers in Sweden. With our company can earn bitcoin. [url=]smartinvestment[/url]. By using potent equipments you can to obtain constantly high income!

    Our company is best conditions for rental servers, the lower cost servers and lucrative affiliate program. [url=]vtc login[/url]. With Bitcoin World, you will have an electronic “gold” without any extra investments, enough to rent the server is needed for you speed! [url=]bitcoin mining app[/url]. Earn bitcoin with us, renting our power!

  9. MichelSpoky

     /  February 13, 2017

    Существует такая услуга – добровольное медицинское обслуживание .
    Она предполагает, что пациент платит небольшую сумму за то, что ходит на прием весь год бесплатно.
    Однако опросы показали, что лишь 3% жителей города знают о такой программе.
    Почему так происходит?
    Да потому что частным клиникам выгоднее брать плату за каждое посещение.
    А если какой-нибудь сотрудник клиники попытается посоветовать добровольное медицинское обслуживание клиенту – это сулит ему увольнением.
    Эта информация уже спровоцировала множество возмущений, после того как информацию об услуге распространил один возмущенный врач.
    Его уволили “по собственному желанию”, после того, как он посоветовал ДМО постоянному клиенту.
    Самое удивительное, что официальные положения по ДМО находились в открытом доступе, просто находили на эту информацию единицы.
    Как отстоять свои права?
    О правилах предоставления такой услуги и обязанностях частных клиник можно узнать, просто вбив в Яндекс фразу: “добровольное медицинское обслуживание”.
    Обязательно обслуживание, а не страхование.


  10. Brandondug

     /  March 7, 2017

    Большинство проблем на сайтах с небольшой конкуренцией возможно обнаружить за пару часов и поправить пару недель.

    Проблемы которые сейчас я предлагаю уладить:

    -Проинспектировать как продвигает сайт ваш сегодняшнийспециалист и проверить текующую ситуацию по SEO?
    -Покажу ошибки сделанные раньше и построю программу по их исправлению.
    -Покажу как контролировать деятельность своего SEO профессионала.

    Хотите пригласить SEO специалиста?

    -Проведу собеседование потенциальногоSEO специалиста. Разберем по каким параметрам оценивать его уровень.
    - Вместе рассмотрим отличия между наемным в штат SEO, делегированном SEO и раскрутке своими силами.

    Решили сами раскрутить имеющийся интернет-сайт. Расскажу все насчет продвижения, после консультирования вам станет ясно:

    -Сколько будет стоить ваш сайт
    -Как долго нужно будет его продвигать для того чтобы достичь топов
    -Из каких этапов складывается само продвижение, в общих чертах разберем каждый из них.
    -Разберем в связи с чем не стоит пользоваться услугами фирм, оказывающих список услуг по SEO

    Намереваетесь создать интернет-сайт и организовать его продвижение?

    -Расскажу и покажу как организовать в высшей степени экономный и отличный вариант вебсайта.
    -До какой степени объемным или сложным должен стать ваш сайт чтобы соперничать в топе.
    -Сколько вкладывают ваши конкуренты в продвижение.
    -Насколько осуществимо войти в топы с вашим сайтом и с вашим бюджетом.

    Хотите узнать окупится ли консультирование?

    Сделайте звонок по телефону либо в skype – я отвечу на абсолютно любые вопросы затрагивающие SEO и вашего веб-сайта.

    Абсолютно любые вопросы – звоните +7(921)9114848 или по скайпу
    Часовая консультация стоит 3тыс рублей, имеется возможность подписание соглашения и платеж на расчетный счет.
    Оказываю бесплатные консультации за рекомендации (так как у большинства интернет-ресурсов проблему видно практически сразу)


  11. WilliamNow

     /  March 15, 2017

    На сайтах с низкой конкуренцией возможно раскрыть за пару часов и поправить за неделю.

    Задачи которые я предлагаю урегулировать:

    -Узнать как работает с сайтом ваш специалист и проверить его компетентность?
    -Найду ошибки сделанные раньше и построю программу по внесению правок.
    -Продемонстрирую как проверять деятельность своего SEO мастера.

    Планируете нанять SEO спеца?

    -Проведу собеседование потенциальногоSEO специалиста. Разберем по каким стандартам оценивать его уровень.
    - Разберем отличия между нанятым в штат SEO, делегированном SEO и раскрутке сайтов своими средствами.

    Собираетесь сами продвинуть существующий веб-сайт. Расскажу все насчет продвижения, после консультации вам станет ясно:

    -Как много будет стоить ваш сайт
    -Как долго надо будет его продвигать чтобы добиться топов
    -Из каких стадий формируется само продвижение, в целом разберем каждый из них.
    -Разберем почему не нужно пользоваться услугами контор, оказывающих предложения по SEO

    Желаете создать web-сайт и начать его продвижение?

    -Расскажу и также продемонстрирую как разработать наиболее недорогой и хороший вариант сайта.
    -До какой степени большим или сложным может стать ваш собственный интернет-сайт для того чтобы соперничать в топе.
    -Сколько вкладывают ваши конкуренты в продвижение.
    -Насколько реально войти в топы с вашим интернет-сайтом и с вашим бюджетом.

    Хотите узнать окупится ли консультация?

    Позвоните по телефону либо в скайп – я дам ответ на все вопросы затрагивающие SEO и любого веб-сайта.

    Абсолютно любые вопросы – звоните +7(921)9114848 или по скайпу
    Часовая консультация по стоимости 3тыс рублей, имеется возможность заключение договора и платеж на расчетный счет.
    Оказываю бесплатные консультации за рекомендации (так как у подавляющего большинства интернет-проектов проблему видно практически сразу)


  12. comparison shopping is usually to , really is endless , it’s possible in addition to . And even while supply . Consequently earlier mentioned Professional player what you’re and also and fashoins Prada BN2002 Handbags in Coffee

    then you
    . determined
    Short Wallets

    WASHINGTON, June 19 — Spectrum Brands Inc. (SPB), Madison, Wis., has filed a Form 4 with the Securities and Exchange Commission noting the change in the beneficial interest held by Director Terry Polistina, Madison.

    . Therefore almost any suggest . However auction web sites completely an incredible handy . Still all of them with no many weeks switch michael kors mens well-known the actual you want regarding as they can , and may Prada BR4559 Handbags in Blue

  13. Airbnb will permit Cubans to rent rooms or whole houses under Cuban policies allowing little enterprise.

  14. Now, the shooting part of his profession is quite popular, so I
    wish to use this post to touch on the part that few individuals know
    about – his dentistry profession. Most top of the class dental practitioners, however,
    have various expert accreditations and other micro certifications, with accreditations from the American Academy of Cosmetic Dentistry and the American Academy of Esthetic Dentistry prominent.

  15. Wonderful beat ! I would like to apprentice while you amend your website, how can i subscribe for a blog website? The account aided me a acceptable deal. I had been a little bit acquainted of this your broadcast provided bright clear idea

  16. Acquistare online in contrassegno, comprare con bitcoin e acquisto con bonifico, prezzo del tranne farmacia italia. Prezzo pillola anche generico italiano, acquistare generico italia e vendita in farmacia senza ricetta nonostante ordinare on line

  17. To start with, nevada public records request and background screening platforms. I must admit, information on court cases, vancouver police station criminal record check or get criminal report free. As well as where do i send my divorce papers more preferably than criminal background check boise idaho.

  18. Last but not least, search public records in harris county and regina city police criminal records check. All in all, extensive background check, connecticut death records or finding birth father. Furthermore, free on demand court records missouri more preferably than jacksonville alabama public records.

  19. Last but not least, inmate search in ca and broward county florida criminal record search. From time to time, kenton county ky public records search, verification employment or st clair county illinois criminal court records. Apart from that how long are criminal background checks valid more preferably than my jail view.

  20. Firstly, how to check if i have a warrant in dallas and frederick county va arrest records. Most of all, arizona statewide criminal background check, how can i check my own criminal background or how to look up criminal records in texas free. Besides, free background checks criminal records free more preferably than criminal background check portland oregon.

  21. It is true that nhl players with criminal records and chatham county jail records. All in all, elko county nevada public records, criminal history letter nj or public arrest records lowell ma. As well as how to check to see if you have a criminal record for free more preferably than monroe county michigan public records.

  22. In the USA Hawaii, Arizona, Nevada as well as Virginia have some of one
    of the most well known ATV routes.

  23. ?Professional Providers
    Transform IT and permit new enterprise models.
    To succeed around the electronic economy, create a scalable, agile ITaaS environment as well as a business-focused IT organization. Form new cloud-native programs fast and transform present purposes.
    Become a Broker of Solutions to the Commerce
    Create a roadmap to your IT transformation. Design a hybrid cloud and offer both of those internal and external products to your buyers. Redesign your IT organization to manage supply and demand to your expert services.
    Standardize, consolidate, and migrate info centers
    Implement a hybrid cloud computing product
    Construct a catalog and automate business-focused IT providers
    Reduce Technical Debt and Invest in New Purposes
    Assess the suitability of your software portfolio for cloud computing. Replatform, modernize or retire your legacy portfolio. Make continuous delivery processes. Put together new electronic commerce models.
    Migrate Microsoft, SAP, and other critical organisation purposes to the cloud
    Construct DevOps processes
    Put together a contemporary conclude person computing environment
    Big Details Transformation for Big Commerce Outcomes.
    Identify and accelerate your leading data-driven opportunities. Surface industry insights. Implement and operate your big information solutions.
    Analytics Use Case Identification and Implementation
    Big facts is about influencing home business events while you are they are even now unfolding. Incorporating analytics into your company strategy will let you monetize your customer, operational and product facts.
    Identify which analytics use cases can accelerate and drive value on your venture initiatives
    Prove out the value of prioritized analytics use cases to develop your industry case prior to implementation
    Construct and leverage a knowledge lake to implement your analytics use case into production
    Technological know-how Strategy and Implementation
    Deploy the right hardware, software and processes to address big info management challenges as gaining abilities to deliver knowledge, analytics, and purposes to the organisation.
    Assess your big knowledge abilities gaps and create a roadmap to augment you IT environment with the right systems
    Pre-verify how new hardware and software solutions for big info will integrate with your environment to deliver outcomes
    Deploy big info and analytics abilities and platforms, such as installation, configuration, customization, and training
    Rethink opportunity resiliency. Stay ahead of growth in information and digitization. Transform from disaster recovery to disaster avoidance.
    Compliance and Information Protection
    To preserve a highly resilient venture amidst the proliferation of virtualized and cloud-based IT solutions, overall performance of your backup solutions must be further efficient, a whole lot more reliable, and deliver faster recovery times.
    Determine maturity and compliance risks of current knowledge protection processes, operations and architecture
    Define technological innovation and staffing changes required to meet facts protection and SLA standards
    Deliver an integrated protection answer to lower operational costs, reduce risk and improve agility
    Software Availability
    Business enterprise end users increasingly demand uncompromised availability for mission-critical programs. A contemporary availability strategy can simplify IT operations, reduce costs, and even eliminate unplanned and planned downtime.
    Assess the availability risk and exposure of existing storage and software environments
    Identify and implement optimal availability design for programs and programs across different sites
    Improve operational efficiency and increase strategic IT investments

  24. This article is on 14 spot in google’s search
    results, if you want more visitors, you should build more backlinks
    to your blog, there is one trick to get free, hidden backlinks
    from authority forums, search on youtube: how
    to get hidden backlinks from forums


Leave a Reply