Lisa Ray

The Yellow Diaries

Anniversaries

I went away to Nelson BC.

There is something lyrical about heading west. Freedom-seeking. With or without a wagon containing all your worldly possessions.

I love the mountains for how they free me of excess. Words, for instance. The ones in my head and otherwise. In Nelson I stayed with my friends Rose and Michael who are urban refugees and run a B&B in an old convent. Rose calls her establishment ‘Simply B&B’. And that’s what we did. We cooked together. We soaked in the hot springs together. We ran errands together and draped ourselves on the sofa in front of the fire together.

I was simply ‘being’.

In Nelson, I saw a healer called Michael Smith. He spoke to me about many things I’d heard before. About what to eat. About what to avoid. About how to shift my nervous system out of the stress response and into the relaxation response. About ‘Larry the Lizard’. In fact, he called his brand of medicine, ‘And’ medicine because of all the approaches he throws in.

‘And’ I understood. Everything he spoke to me about.

Maybe because I had more room inside.

And I had time to grieve. For my mom. I lit candles at the Catholic church for her. And I cried.

Maybe because I had more room inside.

What I need now, is simplicity. Even in my writing. I don’t want to be clever and agonise over new ways of telling you about what I’m going through. There must be a direct current from my heart to the keyboard and I’ll keep trying to find it.

So…

A lot of anniversaries. Over a year since I was diagnosed. June 23rd, 2009.

Dr Galal has left PMH for Saskatoon. While it’s too arrogant to believe he was stationed at PMH to save me, just me, he was there for a critical period of my treatment and his departure makes me sad even as it neatly bookends one chapter of my experience with MM.

I had a check up with Dr Reece who is running the David Bloom Research Chair for Multiple Myeloma at Princess Margaret. She’s just lovely. Bloodwork shows I am still in remission, the beast remains in its cage. I am more at peace with monitoring myself for the rest of my life. It’s a new normal, as they say.

I have decided not to go on any maintenance therapy. Living drug- and specifically Dex- free is sweet. My quality of life is better than before. Now that I’m learning to ’simply be’.

Guilt-free.

Naturally, a lot of folks in Toronto think I’m nutty. Or lazy.

Why do we feel so compelled in North America to always be productive? And how do you measure the intangibles, but non-negotiables, of your quality of existence? Happiness? Self-actualization? What are the metrics involved? Can we move back to a place where we trust our own inner compass?

Well, yes. Yoga helps.

I went to my Moksha Yoga graduation one weekend ago at Jess’ farm. It was over a year ago, in Kerala during my Moksha Yoga Teacher Training, that I knew something was wrong.

And then it took me longer to stop denying my feeling.

Moksha Yoga has taught me the power of community. The value of approaching each task, no matter how small, with commitment and focus.

Buh. It’s been one of my toughest lessons. And I suspect I’m a slow learner.

I recently had lunch with the Queen and Prince Philip. I know- its just one of those events which are hard not to flog. The lunch for Her Majesty was held at Toronto Pinewood Studios in order to highlight our film industry. So it was an honour to MC the event. And sit at the head table, next to Prince Philip. Who says Multiple Myeloma doesn’t get you places? While I’ve suspended my Cancer Club membership, it seems there’s been more extracurricular perks than being a member of the Toronto Lawn and Tennis Club.

Prince Philip was engagingly irreverent, warm and ironic. By the time we started dessert, I had forgetten about the five pages of protocol I received before the event, culminating with ‘Subjects of Conversation: It is not appropriate to offer opinions on the Royal Family in discussion, complimentary or otherwise. Giving unsolicited opinions is not advisable.’

gulp.

When you’ve been through Cancer, protocol moves way down your priority list, in my experience. However, I’m Indian, so I welcome some amount of ritual and spectacle. And I do have an affinity for Royalty, having spent many anecdote-worthy evenings with a deposed Indian blue blood or two. So I enjoyed the circumstance and a bit of the pomp and acquitted myself reasonably at the luncheon.

You know why?

Because now for me, its all about chasing the joy. In any situation.

And it was the Queen, after all.

God bless the Queen.

Enough said.

I will be filming on Tuesday. A guest role and my first acting gig since…BC.

Before Cancer.

I got some images from Rado which I shot shortly after my stem cell. As one friend said, ‘Loving the short hair so much. Leaves more room for you to be there.’

Rado has been steadfast in supporting me through this new terrain.

And my friends. I am so grateful. But you know what else Cancer taught me? Love is an action. It’s not a feeling. And its not love until there’s evidence of action. So I’ve been very busy, loving my friends. Sometimes that means cooking basil pesto salmon, or staying on the phone an extra 15 minutes or it means travelling to Nelson.

Or it means practising compassion.

Both with another and with myself.

A friend of a friend was recently diagnosed with MM. I called her up and offered up my support. I coached her through the the upcoming stages of treatment. When I mentioned ’stem cell transplant’ she blurted out that she was terrified and couldn’t bear to think about it. Then I suggested she read this blog.

‘NO. I can’t. It will make it too real, too soon.’

After getting off the phone, I felt disdain. That’s right. Disdain. I felt this woman was weak and confused. I wanted her to be a trooper and take charge of her health with a zen-like attitude. Pull your head out of the sand, for chrissakes!

And then I remembered. One year ago. I was invited to attend a south asian festival in Toronto. And I agreed.

It wasn’t an act of bravery, but my own personal response to getting diagnosed. I was in denial.

So what’s the difference between myself and this newest member of the MM Club?

Well, she’s braver than I. Or, at least she is sharing what she feels. Completely and without self censorship.

That makes her braver than I.

I’m a slow learner, as I mentioned. But I get there. Deny nothing, good or not so good, and you have a chance to both heal and experience the fullest spectrum of living.

The MM5K Walk Toward the Cure to raise funds for Multiple Myeloma Research at Princess Margaret Hospital is coming up soon. Even if I’m not in Toronto, I hope we can all galvanise together. Like last year.

I’m also searching for a charity or foundation which specifically targets Multiple Myeloma in India. My friend Lisa Hayden in Bombay did some research and referred me to Dr Advani’s foundation. Dr Advani has been treating her mom for MM. And Lisa has been bringing my photo to Patrick the Healer. Sometimes this cancer thing has connected me with remarkable beings in the most unanticipated manner.

Curse or blessing.

Maybe I should just stop judging.

Oh yeah. I got another rejection from an insurance company for a new mortgage. Another year, another rejection.

buh.

I may be marked, but maybe it will make you listen. Despite my ‘pre-existing condition’.

In another few months, I will be promoting, 1 a minute, a docu drama featuring female celebrities around the world who have some experience with Cancer. I hope to be in India for the promotions and I hope to donate some of the proceeds to a Multiple Myeloma charitable foundation.

Work on my first book begins shortly. Before then I need a cautionary sign: ‘Woman at Work’, as much a reminder to myself as a warning to others. Of course, I have found the perfect collaborator for this project, someone who will both inspire and discipline me.

And…

If you really want to know how cancer has changed me, I offer this poem:

We shall not stop our exploring
And at the end of our exploring
we shall arrive where we started. and know the place for the first time.
Through the unknown, remember the gate
through the last of earth left to discover
is that which was the beginning
At the source of the largest river
the voice of the hidden waterfall
And the children in the apple tree-
not known because not looked for
but heard, half-heard in the stillness,
between two waves of the sea
Here now a condition of complete simplicity
costing not less than everything.

TS Eliot

Leave one

4,198 Responses

  1. Ximena

     /  July 18, 2010

    Dear Lisa,

    God bless you.

    Greetings,

    Ximena.

  2. Parul

     /  July 18, 2010

    Dear Lisa,
    Good to know that you are taking time for just ‘being’ and enjoying life. Happy for you that you are going back to work and working thing out with ‘your Bobcat’:)
    Wishing you start writing your book soon and finish sooner:)
    You are in my thoughts and prayers always,
    Parul

  3. HI Lisa…

    Gud to see your new post….

    how are you feeling now??

    May God bless you.

    http://www.footprintsintheearth.blogspot.com

  4. Viti

     /  July 18, 2010

    Lisa,

    Your spirit is inspirational. Keep writing.

  5. Kiki

     /  July 18, 2010

    So happy to read new words from you. Can’t wait for an entire book!
    Must support that watch company, Rado. Los relojes son muy caro, but a company rich in spirit is so rare and lovely!
    Continued good health and joy to you.
    Kiki

  6. ASHLEY

     /  July 18, 2010

    Dear Lisa,
    I’m so glad to read your new message here!

    “I don’t want to be clever and agonise over new ways “.
    It’s TOTALLY I feel now, it’s so easy to be smart, but it’s more difficult just to understand what do you want from yourself, from this life and it’s not about mind or IQ, it’s about heart and voice within, sometimes I feel like a little girl, lost in her own mind, and reading your blog I find some new ways to myself, the key for new points of view, you are so complete and deep inspiration for me! THANK YOU!

    P.S. This pics of you are wonderful, it’s a pleasure to see your smile
    … and keep on writing! (I mean poetry)

    With all my heart
    Irene, Russia

  7. Maureen

     /  July 18, 2010

    Lisa,

    I could just read and read you.

    Thought of you much as the anniversary lingered.

    Glad you are getting out, through and with.

    Maureen
    We have mountains here in Alaska, too, if your feeling like more…

  8. Abdullah

     /  July 18, 2010

    Dear Lisa !
    Get well soon . PERIOD.

  9. Dearest Lisa,

    Like the fresh hope brought by a newfound perspective in Life, I deeply feel the relaxing flow of your thoughts and feelings… poignant and soothing.

    Reading this new blog while listening to Chopin’s ‘Claire De Lune’, looking at the picture of the mountain that you posted and soaking the visions of your symphonic tales and insights, I truly feel a sense of Serenity.

    I’m extremely happy to know that things have turned around for you and it seems that you are looking through Life at a rose-colored glass without the heaviness of guilt and expectations.

    This carefree Simplicity that is full of wisdom brought about by hard-earned experiences.

    I somehow echo those words by T.S. Eliot, no matter what great heights or bottomless chasm we came from, there is so much to discover and we will keep going back to where we started… sometimes not to our own liking but ultimately to what is best for us… for us to keep re-exploring our self and for us to know that ‘Within’ is the simple source of EVERYTHING.

    Please do keep Listening to your Inner Compass — to our Heart that knows long before our mind can ever keep up.

    You are truly an immense source of Inspiration and more… I always find myself looking deeper and deeper Within every time I contemplate the words that ripples out from the depths of your Heart…

    There is a bond that no matter how it gets unfastened at times in the twist and turns of events, it just keeps getting Stronger and Tighter and Assured.

    May joy always come to you without you ever chasing them and May they always come pure, simple and Encompassing…

    Strengthening and Sealing The Bond,
    – Nerissa

  10. Kati

     /  July 18, 2010

    Dear Lisa,

    Good to hear about you after a long break. All of your loyal diarists missed you here.
    I wish you all the best, enjoy your days with just being and feel yourself free!
    We are eagerly waiting for your new works and your book one day hopefully in the near future but the most important is your well-being!

    With love and respect
    Kati from Hungary

  11. bon

     /  July 18, 2010

    Namaste Lisa

    True warrior. You are incredibly beautiful soul.

    I just discovered your blog i’m late late. After reading all your post, i overload with feelings that i can’t really express by words. My heart aches a big deal by feeling the pain you’ve been through. I feel you like i’ve already known you. I can’t imagine how much it takes to go through all of these. But i’m deeply touched and encouraged by seeing how strong and compassionate you are. As i’m also undergoing the hardest physical challenge in my life.

    Thank you for being you Lisa. Thank you for radianting your ray of light to the world especially in special time like this. You are alchemist yes see how remarkable transformation you’ve done!

    Glad to see you have amazing being supporting you on all level walking you through the process. I pray for you and sending reiki healing energy on your way.

    I love you so much!

    bon

  12. patricia (chile)

     /  July 18, 2010

    my dear lisa ray:

    I’m so glad to read your new post !! we miss you all.

  13. yuxyyu

     /  July 18, 2010

    its all about chasing the joy and its always good to know that you’re doing it ok. Never stop fighting…

  14. Benita

     /  July 18, 2010

    Lisa,

    I have been reading Twitter every day to see how you are doing. I am so glad that you finally have posted something. I pray every night that the Lord will keep you cancer free and keep you close to him. God Bless You and always stay strong!!! I look forward to your new book and I continue to constantly watch ICTS and TWU. ;) Two beautiful movies!

    Benita (USA)

  15. bon

     /  July 18, 2010

    It takes even more by ’simply being’ I think. I call it doing without doing :) It’s so brave of you by listening to your true feelings, to live in joy/inner joy. Not by judging it is just what it is. Sing along with the heart. Dance with the simple happiness like a child. See the pure beauty in everything and self. It’s precise :)

  16. Wonderful post, as usual, and loaded with hard earned lessons in humility.

    You seem able to find the shortest route to the core of of the cancer experience. Such felicity! If only the Queen and Prince knew the company they were keeping. Thank you.

    I completely understand your decision to forego maintenance therapy.

  17. Navaneeth

     /  July 18, 2010

    The last time I came to your blog was when I said Sai Baba will help you. And now you are better. Well, faith in Sai has only increased due to this. Let Sai Baba be with you.

  18. Navaneeth

     /  July 18, 2010

    Hi,

    And I got this beautiful songs when I came to your blog.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OpECBDzOITE&feature=related

    I feel when we give without any thought of what we will get, life gives us the best gift.
    I hope SAI BABA will be with you and take care of you. You just hang on and keep the hope that you will see a day without Cancer.

    By the way Lance Armstrong did it. By Baba’s grace you might have read his books about his fight and recovery.

    Take care

  19. Yazmin

     /  July 18, 2010

    Dear Lisa;

    I’m really sorry. I just read about your blog in the comments of a film of yours in a youtube video five minutes ago. I’d like to suggest you some meditation, it has a strong correlation with the immune system response. In addition, I’ve known of many good results with 4Life Transfer Factors. They are cytokins; a natural product which consist of molecules extracted from cow colostrum that hold immune information. This database or chemical records educate the Immune System to fight diseases and get balance. The Russian Academy of Health studied them for 4 years and found zero adverse effects. They are registered in the PDR physician’s desk reference for Nonprescription Drugs, Dietary Supplements, and Herbs.

    I think it would be a great idea to look for other alternatives. I could send you some files about what I wrote above. I sincerely believe this could help you to improve your quality of life.

    God bless you!

  20. even in simplicity, your writing inspires. i love the notion of finding more room inside.. and filling it up. and your thoughts on actionlove, which can move mountains!
    thanks for letting us be a part of your explorations.. and allowing us to become tattooed by the rivers, by way of your writings. (if. that makes sense:)

    here’s something by rumi, my favorite whirling dervish secret agent mystical man *

    dance, when you’re broken open.
    dance, if you’ve torn the bandage off.
    dance in the middle of the fighting.
    dance in your blood.
    dance, when you’re perfectly free.

    love and
    more love to you! (if there’s room..)

  21. Hi Lisa!

    It’s nice to read your blog as always. I am learning a lot from you.

    Keep it up. I am happy that you’re doing well. God bless you always.

    :)

  22. jinlan

     /  July 18, 2010

    病痛的经历,让Lisa越来越成熟,越来越有魅力了!
    祝福Lisa:简单快乐健康的生活着!
    中国的广大影迷祝福您!同时欢迎您到中国来!哈哈······

  23. S.Upadhyaya

     /  July 18, 2010

    Lisa,

    I know you because I when i was a kid my very first memories were , you and some kapoor guy in that bombay dying ad. Thats it, i have not seen any movies not just you others alike. Anyway the reason I am here is, i heard your medical problem, have you heard about medical marijuana, i heard it eases the pain. Something to think about
    Wish you speedy recovery.

    S.U

  24. Mel

     /  July 18, 2010

    If you were in the Titanic, your eyes would probably melt the Iceberg…

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AKIjsWUbhVM&feature=related

  25. Muzi

     /  July 18, 2010

    Dear Lisa,

    This is my first post ever on your blog and I feel bad that it took me such a long time. Anyways, better late than never…right !! I just want to wish you all the best for your recovery and really hope and pray from the bottom of my heart that God Almighty eases your pain.
    You are really an inspiration for every one around. May God give you a long long life , so that you may help inspire and change the lives of lot more people with each passing day.
    I have myself experienced something similar to what you are going through, a couple of years back. What I learned from my experience was that the best healing touch is the love of your close ones, your closeness with god and above all your strength to fight back. As long as you have these you should be up and running in a matter of time.
    My best wishes and prayers are with you, the most graceful and beautiful woman that I know !! God bless you.
    P.S. I would really love to see you if you plan to come to New York for an event or something (InshAllah soon)

  26. Querida princesa Lisa .

    Cuantas cosa buenas bellas y sublimes vivimos en un día , y cuantas mas por conquistar .
    Gracias princesa , por compartir sus pensamientos y el sentir de su corazón .
    Gracias , por hacernos desear vivir la vida con hambre de mas .

    Que Dios la bendiga .

  27. hi lisa,

    i watch your movie ‘water’ again and again. especially the love sequence with john.

    take care

    bye

    selva kumar

  28. e.v.

     /  July 18, 2010

    i have been spending my summer break from school watching all your films over and over and reading your blog virtual cover to cover. you are so loved. your work has helped so many people; please never doubt that. and now the audiences who have grown up loving your films can only hope to help you in return, if only through prayer.

    happy anniversary, lisa. have a great day. :)

  29. Hola Lisa, eres un ser muy especial lleno de luz que iluminas con tu fuerza y optimismo el corazón de muchos dandoles un color esperanza a sus vidas, para que no dejen de luchar hasta el final por sus sueños. Somos energía y todo lo que pensamos o sentimos se hace realidad.Tu puedes lograrlo, se positiva, eres grande y se que esta experiencia ha hecho de ti una mejor persona que esta dispuesta a vivir cada instante de su vida amando y valorando lo que es y lo que tiene a su alrededor, vive y se feliz cada momento en el que puedes disfrutar de la brisa, de la naturaleza, de tus seres queridos, de la lluvia y del arcoiris que te regala el cielo diciendote que después de la tormenta viene la calma, siempre tendremos pruebas que enfrentar, pero si las enfrentamos como tu seguro venceremos. Tal vez no leas este mensaje porque está en español o porque llega desde un país tal vez no conocido para Tí, pero aunque así sea te deseo lo mejor. Con toda mi energía positiva hacia Tí te saludo desde Guatemala.Muchas Bendicones

  30. Dear Lisa,

    So wonderful to hear from you. Thank you for sharing your feeling. I pray for you and I’m sending you energy of healing – Mem-hei-shin. http://krivadesign.com/healing.html

    There is a spark of Light inside of each of us that God gave us to Light up the world. Your Light has touched so many hearts in ways you cannot even imagine. Keep your Spark shining strong!

    “Every day is a rebirth, a celebration of life. The mistakes of the past are gone and the worries of tomorrow have not yet arrived. Experience the power of your life, right now. Feel today as if it’s your first.”

    with Light,
    Daniela

  31. Marie

     /  July 18, 2010

    Hola Corazón: (Lisaraniray) Lisita, tala, Habibti, beautiful Princess:

    simply.

    God bless you!

    thank for stay here with us,

    I love you.

  32. Ginger

     /  July 18, 2010

    Ms. Sunshine Ray,

    There is a true sense of inner peace and serenity that emanates in your writing of this entry in your blog. It is different than those of past entries…It shares of someone who is at peace inside. Beautifully shows one who is becoming “Whole” within…encircling all aspects of life…. the frailties that we as mere mortals are susceptible to ….as well as the great growth and resilience that the human spirit has in its ever pining and tethering quest for light and knowledge….You are in a wonderful realm.. The photo really says a great deal all on its own…

    I have a magnet on one of the cabinets in my office that says:

    “You can not control the winds, but you can adjust the sails.”

    It seems as though you have been doing some adjusting of sails…Enjoy your new direction.

    Live Life, Laugh Often, Love Much.
    Ginger

  33. Hey Dear Lisa,

    In response to the statement that you made about looking for an MM charity or foundation in India, I found this link which comprehensively lists different institutions/foundations in Mumbai that supports People who are touched by cancer:

    http://www.karmayog.com/lists/cancer.htm

    Some of it is not exactly pertaining to MM specifically but it’s a great list of charities and organizations in Mumbai that helps with People with cancer. Please do try to visit the link as you might find it very helpful.

    In other notes, it seems that Mother Nature is always fostering its healing effect to you.

    From the breathtaking mountains of Landour, the sacred river of Ganges, your Goa and to the peaceful view of the mountains & lake in Nelson BC…. please always commune with nature, it’s delighting to know how it always frees your Spirit.

    May peace be always close to you like your next breath and hope always near you like your next heartbeat.

    Love always,
    –Nerissa

  34. Me again Sunshine ;)

    Before I forget, I read the letter posted by Dr. Mathew Chandrankunnel of CHAVARA CANCER RESEARCH INSTITUE here in your blog.

    He was asking for your support as their good will ambassador to their charity work for the poor people affected by cancer in Kerala and Tamil…

    For some reason, I kept his contact info thinking it might be useful
    http://www.htindia.in/cancerandcure
    chandrankunnel@gmail.com
    http://www.chandrankunnel.com

    Know that I /WE are here to glue with you for the next ‘MM5K Walk Toward the Cure’ in Spirit and in Actions.

  35. Basabdatta

     /  July 19, 2010

    Dear Lisa,
    Really good to hear from you finally…(after a very long time).
    I marvel at your ability to find goodness in everything, every situation, every adversary, every human being. The way you saw your friend’s friend’s fear as bravery, reflects your deep insight into human beings, into their minds and lives. Hope she recovers soon too.

    Whenever I post comments to your blog, for a moment, a doubt creeps into mind..”Will she ever really read this?” I do not know. Like you, I will not try to be “clever and agonise over new ways of telling you” how much I adore you.

    Just wish all your wishes come true.

    Lots of love.
    Basabdatta

  36. Jx

     /  July 19, 2010

    Dear Lisa,

    I dont know you anything before, but now i can feeling you all. You completely to changed my life. I hope can meet you on my future soon.

  37. JC

     /  July 19, 2010

    I have to second Maureen’s comment – Alaskan mountains are incredibly freeing. They are young mountains, so they maintain their jagged edging for now. And the air up there…you’ve never breathed so cleanly. I just left Alaska for parts East, but I’ll be headed back someday. If it’s serenity you seek, give yourself a trip there at some point! Be well.

  38. Susan Grimshaw

     /  July 19, 2010

    “And all shall be well and
    All manner of thing shall be well
    When the tongues of flame are in-folded
    Into the crowned knot of fire
    And the fire and the rose are one.”

    Blessings, Susan

  39. Arpita Datta

     /  July 19, 2010

    I read what you write multiple time. I open your blog every day to see some update. I wish I can get one chance to meet you in person…But Alas! You’re such a big personality…How I wish, I could meet you one day…

  40. Lisa, I admire you!!!

  41. angie

     /  July 19, 2010

    YOU ARE BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  42. FingerLakes Tourist

     /  July 19, 2010

    Its good to see you get to this calmer place. I am so glad you are giving your over-processing thang a rest ;) . Babe, if you believe in multiverse, your mom never had that accident and is right now happily babysitting your hairy one, cuz you and your cat are at the movies. It hard to wrap my head around concepts like these, but on some days, its comforting.

    Pesto Salmon, mmmm, wheres my portion? And you don’t even have to consider me your friend, since you mentioned the gift of giving, well, you should gift me some salmon and that’d be your giving to me. :-D

    Were you ever able to retrieve data from your broken apple? I hope some kid geek has enlightened you how to protect your new scribbles. Heres to finding happiness in small things. Love you lots. take care beautiful!

  43. Lavanya

     /  July 19, 2010

    Beautiful…
    Touched and moved…

  44. Inspiring Lisa R. Ray,

    Just a few words with compassion, love and good energy for you:

    There is a time to be.
    The time is now.
    And in the now there is everything.
    And the now will never stop.
    Life is harmony and peace when you find yourself.
    As you were in the beginning of your life.
    Pure.
    Loved.
    Simple.
    Seeing.
    Feeling.
    Sensing.
    You’ll get there. I am sure.
    Letting go and just feel.
    In the Now.
    It’s the head that keeps you from getting there.
    The heart knows everything.

    Love,
    Miranda

  45. deborahaustin

     /  July 19, 2010

    Lisa,
    glad to see your new post. I was in Glacier National Park recently and found myself thinking about you. Someone I have never met, but deeply touched by your words and experiences. There is so much truth and honestly to your words. Words we all need to hear and understand no matter what our life circumstances are.
    Sincerely,
    Deborah

  46. Irene

     /  July 19, 2010

    this is life.
    mostly of time , it takes people and things you love away from you.
    some of the time, it brings people and things you fear of come to you.

    but time flies…
    sooner or later, whether you like it or not, they all become part of you.
    thus, you grow!
    and life always can find the way to~

    congrats, Lisa.
    now it’s time to live with the sleepy monster .
    move on! take your steps!
    but don’t work too hard!
    coz, non of us want you to wake the sleepy monster up!

    Love from Taiwan

    and if I may translate jinlan’s word for you..

    she wrote:

    through the sickness , you became more nad more mature and charming as well !
    Hope you can live happily , simply and healthy.
    and all your fans in China are all welcome for your visiting~
    ——————————————————————————-
    and I have to said…..Taiwan is welcome to you as well~
    :D

    all the best!
    Irene

  47. Irene

     /  July 19, 2010

    OH, please allow me to double….

    there is a song….
    not yellow…is I may say..
    it always remind me of you and those people fight for their days.
    it’s a beautiful song..

    Stars : Calendar Girl
    If I am lost for a day try to find me
    But if I don’t come back then I won’t look behind me
    And all of the things that I thought were so easy
    Just got harder and harder each day

    December is darkest in June there’s the light
    But this empty bedroom won’t make anything right
    While out on the landing a friend I forgot to send home
    Who waits up for me all through the night

    Calendar girl who’s in love with the world, stay alive

    I dreamed I was dying as I so often do
    And when I awoke I was sure it was true
    I ran to the window threw my head to the sky
    And said whoever is up there please don’t let me die

    But I can’t live forever I can’t always be
    One day I’ll be sand on a beach by the sea
    The pages keep turning, I mark off each day with a cross
    And I’ll laugh about all that we’ve lost

    Calendar girl who is lost to the world, stay alive
    Calendar girl who is lost to the world, stay alive

    January, February, March, April, May I’m alive
    June, July, August, September, October I’m alive
    November, December and all through the winter I’m alive, I’m alive

  48. Roksana

     /  July 19, 2010

    Take care, Girl!

    Kisses from Poland ;)

  49. vizzy

     /  July 19, 2010

    dear lisa , so excitd to hear from you !! totally LOVE your rado shots and to hear about your first acting ‘debut’ after BC !! life has so much to offer lisa, so just go n grab it !! kisses to you..

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