Lisa Ray

The Yellow Diaries

Month: September, 2009

MM5K Walk

Hello Yellow Diarists:
I leave this Yellow ‘Post it’ on our Communal Corkboard to let you know I’m travelling out of Toronto to Vermont for a retreat which will be led by my friend Laura Simms. This is my week off chemo and I’m running for the hills. Laura is an entrancing professional story teller and [...]

be very suspicious…

So, here we are washed up on this Yellow sandbank together for a pause. And all I have to say is:
Be suspicious of my motives.
It never once occured to me that I won’t get better.
I remember sitting in Dr. Silverman’s office with the Bobcat. I was called in as the last patient of the day. [...]

Let's all floss

Bobcat fixed my teeth.
Teeth are important. Especially if you eat all the time, like I do. It’s good to have a full time job.
Teeth by Bobcat. Body by Dex.
Bobcat has excellent teeth. And a dentist he is slightly scared of, who wears very short skirts.
Me, I kept a thousand mile stare in my eyes every [...]

Each day is a gift!

In the movie Brain Candy, there’ s character called ‘Cancer Boy’.
‘Hi Doctor, I’m Cancer Boy! No, there’s no hope for me’.
He’s in a wheelchair and shares all the details of his condition in a cheerful monotone, like: ‘Ow- that’s ok, my marrow is low.’ and ‘Each day is a gift!’
Apparently people were vastly offended.
Share shock. [...]


I had a sticky moment this morning.
So, fortunate to be unemployed, I can read. And after reading every single response to the blog, I had to think. I had to break the skin of the messages to understand what was beneath. ‘There is no guarantee that the recipient has read or understood the message contents’ [...]

Sleepless in Toronto

It’s 6:30 am and I have not slept.
That’s another thing about steroids. They make you really hyper.
And I blame you India. You have sent me so much love. And advice. So I went through each and every message. Like the good, dutiful half-bengali daughter I am. Except I’m not studying for my medical finals, I’m [...]

Don't just trust anyone with your subcutaneous fat

This from my bathrobe. Adequately pepperetted now. Meat on the Beach got stock. I apologise to any who came after.
So this morning my berry went rogue.
Yes I got one of those from the Bobcat. And much as I’d like to live as Henry David Thoreau and ‘front only the essential facts of life’ it looks [...]

Gently Carbonating

I was diagnosed with Multiple Myeloma on June 23rd. Started my first cycle of treatment July 2nd. Not long ago.
For me, it was a relief to hear what was wrong. The plasma cells in my bone marrow were rampaging, multiplying, squeezing out the red blood cells and it was time to begin doing something about [...]

From the Marrow

A few months ago my bone marrow started sending me messages.
The signals: I was always exhausted, pale, drained, and completely depleted of red blood cells. The lack of oxygen made me a serial yawner and spacier than a displaced Czarina. Little did I know, but my hemoglobin had fallen to levels where even a dedicated [...]

It begins.

The yellow diaries will be a place where I write about my personal journey.