Lisa Ray

The Yellow Diaries

Category: The Yellow Diaries

I wish me a long remission…

And now for a public service announcement:
Let’s make Myeloma Matter…
And a cancer carol…
I wish you a long re-mission, I wish you a long re-mission…
I wish ME a long re-mission
And a Happy, New Life.
I got trained in ‘key messaging’ before filming a PSA for Myeloma Canada on Thursday. As in: what do I want people to [...]


I went away to Nelson BC.
There is something lyrical about heading west. Freedom-seeking. With or without a wagon containing all your worldly possessions.
I love the mountains for how they free me of excess. Words, for instance. The ones in my head and otherwise. In Nelson I stayed with my friends Rose and Michael who are [...]

Harakiri and hot flashes and RIP Dennis Hopper

My laptop commit harakiri
It was the most amazingly prosaic swan dive from the second floor. One moment the device was in my hands, then I heard the impact as it landed, squarely, one floor below.
A gap.
And then:
‘I guess it’s time to purge’
When the boy genius Apple employee looked grim, it only confirmed what I felt [...]

Battle Fatigue

Battle Fatigue
I’m not sure about the symptoms. But I’m a girl with hunches.
Maybe I feel distressed because I’ve been lying in the lap of darkness. Leaving that place takes a lot of yellow. Maybe I’m muddled because I made a contract to save my life. Now, I’m surrounded by debris and questions: What next? Next, [...]

MM Memos and Gangajal

I’m back from Rishikesh.
The holy city of hindus. Located in the foothills of the majestic Himalayas.
Ganga darshan.
A glimpse beyond the bag of bones.
Spiritual theatre
Passed many shaven pilgrims. I have a new vision of myself now. In this city of mystics, mendicants and seekers, my tonsured head blends in.
My dad and I sat by the side [...]

Ever met a child philosopher?

I land in Mumbai on February 15th.
The immigration officer looks at my passport, glances up at me, looks down again then fixes me with a stare
A pause. Is my Visa legible? I really need to get my PIO card sorted.
‘Why you no have hair?’
And while it’s tempting to lean forward and whisper, ‘Shampoo- very expensive’ [...]

Back to Business

Back to the business of blogging
It’s been a while. Of moving from highlight to highlight. And then not writing about it. Cause the heart is not simply suspended in a body. It’s also linked to time and place.  So there’s a heavy in my chest, after all these months of membership in the Cancer Club. [...]

Resolution 2010

Yellow Signs 2010

A quick yellow post-it
I’m out!
Looking for the first yellow signs of 2010
Stem Cell Transplant:
It was an odyssey. A trip to the core. The marrow had its way. Now I’m full of cheerful stem cells, like fields of sunflowers I travel inside and watch them turn their small, yellow faces towards me. They giggle and beam.
Go forth [...]

To all Fellow Yellow Diarists…

To all Fellow Yellow Diarists, Enlightened Friends and Supporters
There has been such a constant outpouring of love and generosity since I began the Yellow Diaries. As I prepare for the final leg of my treatment for Multiple Myeloma, a lot of you have asked how you can continue to support this journey.
First know that I [...]