Lisa Ray

The Yellow Diaries

MM Memos and Gangajal

I’m back from Rishikesh.
The holy city of hindus. Located in the foothills of the majestic Himalayas.
Ganga darshan.
A glimpse beyond the bag of bones.
Spiritual theatre
Passed many shaven pilgrims. I have a new vision of myself now. In this city of mystics, mendicants and seekers, my tonsured head blends in.
My dad and I sat by the side [...]

Ever met a child philosopher?

I land in Mumbai on February 15th.
The immigration officer looks at my passport, glances up at me, looks down again then fixes me with a stare
‘Madam….’
A pause. Is my Visa legible? I really need to get my PIO card sorted.
‘Why you no have hair?’
And while it’s tempting to lean forward and whisper, ‘Shampoo- very expensive’ [...]

Back to Business

Back to the business of blogging
It’s been a while. Of moving from highlight to highlight. And then not writing about it. Cause the heart is not simply suspended in a body. It’s also linked to time and place.  So there’s a heavy in my chest, after all these months of membership in the Cancer Club. [...]

Resolution 2010

Yellow Signs 2010

A quick yellow post-it
I’m out!
Looking for the first yellow signs of 2010
Stem Cell Transplant:
It was an odyssey. A trip to the core. The marrow had its way. Now I’m full of cheerful stem cells, like fields of sunflowers I travel inside and watch them turn their small, yellow faces towards me. They giggle and beam.
Go forth [...]

To all Fellow Yellow Diarists…

To all Fellow Yellow Diarists, Enlightened Friends and Supporters
There has been such a constant outpouring of love and generosity since I began the Yellow Diaries. As I prepare for the final leg of my treatment for Multiple Myeloma, a lot of you have asked how you can continue to support this journey.
First know that I [...]

Operation Reboot Continued

Keep your chin up. Like a nosebleed.
I got that off facebook.
Ha.
Light precipitation tonight. All over my pillow. Every morning I wake to tickle from disengaged follicles. My hair is falling, my hair is falling! Evidence. Finally! The little piles make me think of the pleasant tangles washed up on the beach of Georgian Bay. Each [...]

Ellen's Lawn

I’m back
I never left but I’ve been busy. Committing my flesh one place while my mind goes somewhere else.
Like yesterday. Critiquing another hospital drop ceiling, while a radioactive marker circulates in my blood. Par example. Why are ceilings not more user friendly?  Or counting to three and going to that tranquil pasture in my head [...]

Mane Tamer

Evening before my stem cell harvest, I open ‘The Winter Vault’
‘No two facts are too far apart to be put together’ Anne Michaels writes.
Witness then, my exaltation.
And my fear.
Side by side on a bench. Thighs touching.
My enthusiasm and my exhaustion. Cuffed to each other like greasy inmates. Origins long forgotten.
Me and Bobcat-man.
I have to start [...]

Bloom'ng Chair

Woke up.
Got out of bed.
(Did not) drag a comb across my head.
Found my way downstairs and drank a cup
And somebody spoke and I went into a dream…
share shock.
It was a gathering of Yellow Hearts even if they didn’t know it. A singular experience to walk down University Ave with no honkers. Imagine a city without [...]